SV Homecoming and PTSD

Every year when SV homecoming comes around, I have a shock of emotion run through my veins.  I have always wanted to write about this experience but haven't gotten around to it until now.  The kids are asleep so we'll see how much I can get down.  ;)

Seventeen years ago, when I was in 7th grade, my sister Lisa was in high school, and she was preparing a float for the night's upcoming parade.  I had just gotten home from school and was laying on my parent's bed doing homework.  My mom came in and said she would be right back because she had to take something to Lisa for her float.  No problem.  I was old enough to be home by myself.

What seemed like only seconds later, Melissa, Richard's wife now and girlfriend at the time, came in and said, "Lorna, the house is on FIRE!"  I said, "Yeah, right," and laughed a little bit.  Richard is always playing jokes like this so there was no reason to believe him.  Then again, (I can't remember who said it this time, but I think it was Rich) "Seriously, Lorna, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!  GET OUT NOW!!"

I looked up and I could see the smoke beginning to fill our house.  It was already making its way down at least a foot by now.  I heard my mom come in and yell, "Someone call 911!" I promptly picked up the phone that was next to my parent's bed and dialed.  However, Rich was in the kitchen and was dialing also.  He yelled at me to hang up so I did.  He made the call while I scurried to grab our little kittens and run out of the house.

When I got outside, I found my mom firmly asking, "Where's Richard?"  Well he was inside calling 911, in the kitchen, where the fire was...OH NO!  I hope he isn't being burned!  But I was distracted by my mom's hand...the palm of her hand was gray and flapping up and down as she pleaded to know where my brother was.  I pointed out her hand to her (as if she didn't already know) but she just wanted to know where her son was.

Rich came running out the front door and we all met at the mailbox out front just like my mom had always told us to do in case there was a fire.  I don't remember ever having a practice run or rehearsal for this but I always remember her telling us that was our meeting place.  I am so glad she did.

By this time my mom's burn had really set in and she was following the sprinkler around in a circle trying to cool off her hand.  We began to hear the sirens!  Help was coming!  I turned around and saw all the windows almost pitch black from the smoke.  I was so scared, but knew that the house was empty of my family.  I was so scared for my mom and her burn.  The first firetruck drove straight past our house and we ran after it yelling, "WE'RE RIGHT HERE!  THE FIRE IS HERE!"

The next truck stopped and I can't remember what happened with them after that.  The ambulance came and took my mom in.  They wouldn't let me in to see her and they wouldn't let me ask if she was okay.  I was so scared.  Our sweet neighbors, the McConkies brought me over to their house and into their basement to get away from everything.  I just kept wondering if my mom was okay.  I know they were talking to me but all I could think about was my mom and watching her palm flap up and down.  It was horrifying.

All during this time, people were walking past our house on their way to the parade.  Some were yelling to me wondering if everything was okay.  They were trying to be kind, I guess, but I was in shock and I didn't want to yell all over the neighbor what was going on.  That's why I went to the neighbor's house.

After what seemed like an eternity, someone took Lisa and I to the hospital to see my mom. She was all bandaged up and I finally knew she was okay.  She may not have been great, but she was alive and a good faker.  :)  She told me it was no big deal.  However, she was scared that the burn on her hand would scar and she wouldn't be able to play the piano anymore.  I remember her stretching her hand in order to stretch the skin so that wouldn't happen.  I remember her telling me that she was so grateful for the covenants she made in the temple that kept her from her whole body burning when she landed belly down on the fire.  I was grateful, too.

The next thing I remember was Lori taking us back to the house to see the damage.  I was so scared and told her I didn't want to but needed some stuff.  She said that it was sometimes good to go back to the scene where something bad happens.  Our minds make things worse than reality sometimes and seeing the reality gives us a true perspective.  I am so glad I did go back with her.  I was shocked at what our house looked like...the kitchen was destroyed.  There was black soot EVERYWHERE...even downstairs.

I remember going into the bathroom because I wanted my toothbrush...LOL...I don't know why I thought that of all things was so important.  But I looked at it and it was BLACK!  Gross.  Needless to say, we made a trip to the grocery store that night for some things.  :)

This made 7th grade just a little harder than a regular 7th grade year.  I didn't have clothes to wear.  I didn't live at my house.  I ate at restaurants for months at a time.  I remember wearing sweats everyday to school.  I remember my mom driving me to the bus stop in Smithfield or all the way to Richmond for school.  I was late a lot.  I remember crying one day because I wanted a BLT so bad.  I was craving it but we had no kitchen to cook in.  My mom stopped at Village Inn and asked them to make one for me.  IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!

Years later, when I was in high school, there was a thunderstorm.  Lightning struck a field just north of our house.  Our windows were open and the smell of smoke started coming in the house very strong.  I was sitting in the kitchen and started to breathe heavily and cry uncontrollably.  I couldn't stay in the kitchen so I ran into the living room.  The Holy Ghost told me to calm down and say over and over to myself, "You are safe.  The firefighters have everything under control.  No one is getting hurt.  It is just a field.  You are safe.  The firefighters are doing a good job....."  Someone shut the windows to our house so the smell wouldn't continue to come into the house.  It wasn't until after I calmed down that I realized what effect the house fire had had on me emotionally.  I didn't realize that I had some post-traumatic stress to overcome.  To this day, I have to remind myself of those things when I see or smell smoke.

I am so grateful that our family was okay and my mom's burns healed.  What a blessing that I made it through 7th grade.  :)  I will always be grateful that my mom told us where to meet in case of a fire and grateful that Rich and Melissa came home when they did.  I don't know how long it would have taken me to realize that our house was on fire.  {shiver} I am grateful that Heavenly Father took care of us that day.

I gotta go now...the parade starts in an hour!